I LOVE RESULTS.
Good results, that is.
I don’t like bad results. I don’t want to see the results of not working out and eating too much, or the results of not being consistent with my kids, or the results of not paying my bills.
Those results can just knock you off your feet.
Yowzer! You’re just doing your thing, and then one of those bad boys comes up and smacks you across the face.
It seems to come out of nowhere, but of course that’s not what happens. What happened is that somewhere back in the far distant past, you did or didn’t do something. And it had an effect. And the effect grew, picked up speed, crashed into a circumstance, and rolled into your life. And here it is, looking you in the eyeballs, and it’s big, ugly, hairy, smelly, and it’s making itself at home.
Quick – without trying to sound like you’re a better person than you actually are – tell me what you do when you’re in that situation. Do you
- Immediately recall your failure/action that caused this result, take responsibility, and deal with the result promptly and appropriately?
- Curse, feel sorry for yourself, throw some existential questions out there (Why meeeeeee? Why nooooooow?), whine and complain and mutter and blame, and eventually – with a bad attitude – try to halfway fix the problem?
Look, I’m not scared. As much as I want to be a high-road walking girl, I’ve taken option 2 many, many times. I get a bad result and I don’t want to take responsibility.
I don’t want the bad thing to be my fault.
I’d rather blame a) my spouse, b) my kids, c) my past, d) my job, e) my friend, f) my church, g) my God, h) my boss, i) my neighbor, j) my car, k) my parents, l) my country, m) my computer, n) my karma than simply admit the truth, that I goofed. I goofed, I did something wrong or didn’t do something right, and here is the result.
ON THE OTHER HAND,
When something good happens, something wonderful or even just slightly nice, that I am in any small way connected to,
I WANT THE CREDIT.
ALLLLLL the credit.
- Your kids are cute. You betcha. Those are my genes, baby.
- Your house looks great. Of course it does; it’s mine.
- Your car is cool. Yeah. Because I’m awesome.
- What a great party. Of course it’s great; I’m here.
- These potatoes are delicious. Yeah, I salted them.
So, mostly, we don’t answer people exactly like that because most of us get that it’s not socially appropriate. But we think that way, often, whether we say it aloud or not.
Good results? We are IN.
Bad results? Huh? Wha? I never… I dunno… I couldn’ta known… Ummmmmm…
I’m done talking here. I think you get the point:
if you want results, take responsibility.
That’s it. Really.